Fifty Shades Another Chance
by PenToPaper18
Summary: This story picks up after Fifty Shades of Grey, a few days after Ana left Christian. I like all 3 books by E.L. James and this idea just came to me. Please read and let me know what you think.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or any of the characters in this story

Christian's POV

I sit and stare ahead blankly as my mind refuses to allow me to concentrate on my work. I've spent more time in my office at Escala these past few days than I've had anywhere else. I haven't left it really, only to use the toilet. Gail has been bringing meals to me and I've been forcing the food down my throat, not enjoying one bit of it. I could eat dirt at this point and it wouldn't make a difference. I bring my hand up and scratch at the stubble on my chin, trying to relieve the itchy sensation. I've never had a beard but I haven't cared to shave or shower for that matter. Nothing matters anymore. Not since she left me.

_My Ana_. I can't believe I let this happen. I've gone over those last few hours in my head over and over again, and I've tried to convince myself that she was to blame. She had asked for it. She had asked me to show her how bad it could be, so I let her have it. I didn't actually give her my worst. That would have been the cane. I had decided on the belt because I didn't think I could ever really use the cane on her even at my worst. That was a hard limit for her. So I gave her six with the belt. She didn't safe word, so I trusted that she was okay. The problem is, she was far from it.

Fuck! _Why didn't she safe word?_ I ask myself the question as I throw one of my coffee mugs across my office, watching it shatter as it hits the wall. The pieces fall to the floor, but something else catches my eye. It is the model Blanik L23 glider that Ana had left for me to find after she was gone. I spent hours putting it together once I found it. She also left a note with it: _This reminded me of happy times. Thank you, Ana_. Those words are burned into my memory. Happy times. We did have happy times, but I've managed to fuck it up. Now I'll never have it back. I'll never have my Ana. Never again will I have her in my bed, sleeping and spooning with me. Never again will I be able to take in the sweet scent of her hair or her body, or feel her lips on mine. This is what I was trying to avoid all along. Getting emotionally attached to someone, only to lose her. I curse myself for allowing that to happen. I fell victim to the beguiling Anastasia Steele.

I cannot go back to my bedroom. I cannot sleep in my bed, not without her. After having all those nights free of the haunting nightmares, I cannot go back to sleeping alone. The nightmares will return and haunt me. She kept the nightmares away. She did that. And what did I do for her? I belted her and scared her away. I hurt her. The thought of it abhors me.

My phone rings. The last thing I feel like doing right now is talking to anyone, so I let it go to voice mail. A few seconds later it rings again, which tries any patience I might have had. I look at the caller ID and its Ray. _Ana's Stepfather_. My posture snaps to attention as I sit up straight in my chair and answer the call.

"Grey"

"Christian, Its Ray Steele" he says. He sounds troubled by something, but I try to keep my voice neutral.

"What can I do for you Mr Steele."

"Not for me. It's Annie. She's been in an accident. I'm on my way to the hospital now."

I suddenly feel lightheaded and my stomach starts to knot. Ana, accident…. "Ray, what happened?" I sound more demanding than I mean to, but I need to know what's happening with Ana.

"Please, just meet me at the hospital. I'll explain when you get here."

I end the call and rush through my apartment. Keys, phone, jacket and I am in the lift before Taylor has a chance to join me. The lift does not move nearly as fast as I'd like it to as it travels down to the garage. Once in my car I speed out of the garage and into traffic. My phone is already ringing and I know its Taylor. I press for the speaker phone.

"Taylor"

"Sir, where are you off to?"

"I am on my way to the hospital. Ana's been in an accident. I've got this Taylor. Stay at Escala until I call with further instructions."

I click the phone off before he has a chance to reply. I don't doubt that he will do as I say. It takes be about seven minutes to arrive at the hospital and park the car.

I rush to emergency and find Ray instantly. He looks upset, but when he sees me his expression turns dark.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asks me. At first I just give him a confused look, but then I realize that my appearance is anything but my best at the moment. I haven't shaved or showered. I scratch at my chin and try to brush off his question about my current state of bad hygiene.

"I've a…. I've been very busy. Ray, what's happened with Ana?"

He takes a breath, like he's trying to stop himself from crying. "She was hit by a car. A few witnesses stayed with her until the ambulance arrived and said she was getting off the bus when a car came around and ran the traffic light. She must have been on her way to work.

I internally kick myself. She should have been driving the car that I bought for her. But she was too stubborn to keep it. And then it occurs to me. Ray called me. He probably doesn't know that his daughter and I are no longer together. I decide not to enlighten him. "What did the doctors say?" I ask him.

"They haven't said anything yet. The doctors are working on her now. Oh Annie, please be okay."

I put my hand on his shoulder. I'm not sure what made me do that. I don't usually provide physical comfort for anyone. Only Ana. "She has to be okay" I offer.


	2. Chapter 2

Christian's POV

I've been at the hospital all day waiting to see Ana. Taylor had come by and dropped off some food, some clean clothes and my razor so that I could clean up a bit. I was grateful since I didn't want Ana to see me that way. My mother checked in with me a few times and chatted with Ray while I cleaned up. Having a mother that's a doctor at the hospital has it's perks. I was able to use the shower in the staff locker room. She gave me a disappointed look when she took in my appearance, but she didn't question it. I'm sure I'll hear about it at a later time. Right now I need to concentrate on Ana.

We've been told that she has a broken hip and she has a few cuts and bruises. The doctors had to run numerous tests to make sure she didn't have internal bleeding or any other hidden injuries since she wasn't conscious. As I walk back to the waiting area to join Ray and my mother, I see that the doctor is with them. Ray looks like a big weight has been lifted off his shoulders and Mom rubs his back comfortingly. I start to feel a bit of relief at their reactions but I'm still nervous. I'm nervous about Ana's condition and I'm nervous about seeing her. How will she react to seeing me? Will she be happy to see me? Will she make me leave? God, I hope not.

"What's going on?" I ask as I walk into the waiting room. My mother gives me a light hug and tells me that Ana's in serious but stable condition. The doctors haven't found any life threatening injuries, but we'll need to be careful with the broken hip. "When can I see her?" I ask.

"You can see her now" the doctor tells us. "One at a time though, and keep her calm."

I start to feel anxious when the doctor leaves us. I'm going to see Ana. I look at Ray and my mother and they are both looking at me intently.

"Why don't you go and see her first?" Ray suggests. I nod and turn without looking back. I suppose Ray should see her first, but Ana might tell him that we are no longer together, which would ruin my chances of seeing her. I cannot let that happen. I need to see her. I need to make sure she is okay.

I walk through the hospital and stop when I arrive at her hospital room. I hesitate for a moment, and then I walk in. I gasp when I see her. She has bandages on several parts of her body and she is hooked up to a few machines. A tear threatens in the corner of my eye. _My Ana._ I hate seeing her like this. So hurt and nearly broken. She moves her head slightly to look at me and she looks like she could cry. There are a few cuts on her face, but the biggest one is by her lip.

"Christian" she says. Her voice is raspy.

"Don't talk" I quickly say to her. It sounded stern but I didn't mean for that to happen. I sit in the chair at her bedside and gently take her hand in mine.

"What are you doing here?" she asks. I narrow my eyes for a moment. She still doesn't follow instructions. But then I soften my expression.

"Ray called" I explain to her as I cover her hand with my other hand. "He told me that you were in the hospital."

"Is he here?" Her voice sounds strained. I wish she would stop talking. But then again, I want her to talk. I've missed her.

"Yes, he's here. He suggested that I come see you first." She slightly nods. "You didn't tell him that we weren't together anymore."

"I didn't tell anyone."

I shake my head slightly and smile lightly. "Neither did I. Only the staff knows. I haven't really talked to anyone." I gulp as I look into her eyes. "I miss you, Ana."

"Christian, please….."

"I'm sorry" I say quickly when I see that I've upset her. "I don't want to upset you. I just want to be here for you. Please don't shut me out."

She nods as tears roll down her face. I reach over and gently wipe them away with my thumb. "What happened to me?"

"You were….. you were hit by a car." She looks at me and I see dread in her eyes. "You had just gotten off the bus and a car ran a red light."

"I don't remember" she says sadly. She starts to look scared.

"Don't be scared" I say softly. "Maybe that's a good thing, not remembering. I don't want you to worry. The police caught the man that was driving the car, and he's in big trouble for leaving the scene."

"He just left me there?" she asks with more dread in her face and her voice. I reach up and dry some more of her tears with my thumb.

"I know. I don't know how anyone can do that to you. I'm sorry Ana."

"I'm hurt bad?"

I shift in my seat before I answer her. "You have a broken hip. And some cuts and bruises. The doctors ran a lot of tests and they didn't find anything else wrong with you. Your head is okay, your spine…" My eyes trail down to her more private areas, even though they are covered with a blanket. "… as well as other areas."

"Christian" she scolds. I smile at her when I see that she is blushing.

"I love that I can make you blush."

After a few seconds her expression changes. My smile fades along with hers. "This doesn't change anything."

I nod and lose eye contact with her for a moment. "We're not going to talk about that now. Right now you need to focus on getting better. No stress. The doctor said that we need to keep you calm and comfortable."

"We?" she looks at me questionably.

"Yes, we. I know that you left me, but that doesn't change how I feel. I still care about you and I want to help you through this. I'm going to see you through this. And then when you are feeling better, we can talk about us.


	3. Chapter 3

Ana's POV

I've been in the hospital for a few days recovering from my accident. I can't believe I was hit by a car. If I wasn't hurt I'm sure Christian would punish me for being so careless. The accident happened a few days after I left Christian. I'm sure I was distracted and just didn't see the car coming at me. I still don't remember the accident. The last thing I remember about that morning was trying to get ready for work and fixing myself to look somewhat decent before leaving my apartment to face the day. I was not in a good place. I had left the love of my life and I was miserable. I didn't have anyone to talk to since Kate was away on holiday. Christian called Elliot to let him and Kate know about the accident. She wanted to come home, but I got on the phone with her and insisted that she stay. She shouldn't have to leave her holiday to be home and miserable with me.

Christian has been by my side every day. He even sleeps and showers here. The sensible part of me wants to tell him to leave, that it is not good for us to pretend that all is right with our relationship. But the selfish part of me wants him to stay. It's been easier with him here. He's been catering to my every need. Gail has brought our meals since the hospital food isn't all that great. Christian has been keeping my mind off of my injuries with games and movies. We talk about things but we don't talk about our relationship, or what happened that night in his playroom. He said we would talk about it once I'm recovered.

Day five comes and I start to feel anxious and snappy. I can't help but be rude to the staff and I even snap at Christian a few times. He narrows his eyes at me but then he closes his eyes as if he is counting in his head. This is the most patient I've seen him. I just can't stand to be in the hospital another minute and I verbally let my frustrations be known. Christian explains that he needs to step out for a few minutes but promises that he will be back soon. I guess my attitude is getting to him. I frown when he stands to leave, but I'm put at ease when his lips make contact with my forehead. They linger there for a few seconds before plants two gentle kisses. "Trust me" he says before he turns and leaves the room. I let out a sigh and close my eyes. Maybe a nap will sort me out.

When I wake up Christian is back, as is my doctor. Christian stands in the corner as the doctor examines me. I don't understand what is happening, but then I remember Christian's words. He told me to trust him, and I do. I look over at him and he is standing in the shadowy corner with his hands in his pockets, watching as the doctor looks over my injuries. Looking back on the last few days, I start to remember each time the nurses came in to change my bandages. That part certainly wasn't fun, nor were the times when the nurses washed me. They gave me pain medicine for my broken hip, but I was still in pain. Christian was not by my side when the nurses tended to me in that matter.

Once the doctor is finished, he looks over at Christian and he looks unsure about something. "What is it?" I ask him, but I am ignored as he continues to look over at Christian. "Hey, I asked you a question."

"Ana, don't be rude" Christian says, and I am appalled.

"Don't tell me what to do" I snap at him, but once again I am ignored.

"Doctor, a word?" Christian orders. They both leave the room without saying a word to me. _What the hell was that about?_

* * *

Christian's POV

The doctor and I step out into the hallway out of ear shot of Ana. She's getting more and more irritated about being in the hospital. "This isn't good for her" I tell the doctor.

"Mr Grey, I do not feel that Ms Steele is ready to be released. Her injuries…"

"I am aware of her injuries" I interrupt him. "I am more than capable of taking care of her in my home. I can hire 'round the clock care for her while she recovers."

"What's the hurry, Mr Grey?"

I sigh and run my hand through my hair. "I want her to be comfortable, and I want her to be happy. She is not happy here. She's miserable." I turn and take a few steps forward until I am able to see into Ana's room again. "She will get the best care possible, emotionally and physically if I can take her home. And I will hire a physical therapist to help her when she's cleared to start sessions."

"Mr Grey, this is highly out of the ordinary."

I turn and take a few steps so that I am in front of him again. "I am not an ordinary person."

"That, you are not" he agrees with me.

I continue to press the issue. I am not taking no for an answer. "I will even hire you if you wish to continue being her doctor. You can come and check on her yourself."

"I will take you up on that" he says. "Ana is my patient and I do wish to see her through this."

After I settle things with Ana's doctor, I join her in her hospital room and give her the good news. I'm hoping this will brighten her mood, but it has the opposite effect.

"Christian, I'm not ready to be released from the hospital. I can't even walk."

"I know Baby, but you won't have to. I'm buying a wheelchair."

"This is crazy."

"I know, but I will do anything to make you happy Ana. And I know you're not happy here."

She shakes her head. "No, I'm not happy here. But my hip is broken. I can't leave. And I can't come home with you. We broke up, remember?"

I break eye contact with her and look down at the sheets for a moment. "Yes, I know that. And we will talk about that at a later date. Right now we need to concentrate on your recovery. And I think you will recover much faster and feel much happier if you are out of the hospital."

"Christian, I appreciate what you are trying to do. But, it wouldn't be right."

"Okay, let's look at your options" I say to her. I start to go into business mode as I list her options. "You can stay here and recover, but then where would you go when you are released? You will still need help with daily tasks so you can't go back to your apartment. Your apartment doesn't have an elevator and is too small for a wheelchair. I suppose you could stay with Ray. But, would you really want Ray to help you to the toilet? Or help you get washed?"

She looks at me incredulously. "And what? You are going to help me with those things?"

"Of course. Anastasia I've seen you naked on enough occasions for you to not feel embarrassed by it."

"That was different" she blushes. "We were together. It would be inappropriate."

"Well, I guess that I'm inappropriate then."

"Please be serious."

"I am being serious, Ana. I want you to stay at Escala and I want to take care of you. My place would allow for you to use a wheelchair. I can cater to your every need, and Gail can make all the meals. And when you are cleared for physical therapy, I can hire someone to come to Escala to work with you. You wouldn't even have to leave."

"So, instead of being cooped up here, I would be cooped up at Escala."

"I supposed there are worse places to be cooped up" I tell her and offer a smile, hoping to receive one in return. She looks at me and I can tell that she's thinking about it.

"It's too much, Christian."

I shake my head. "It's not nearly enough. Please, Ana. Say Yes. Let me take care of you."

_**I hope you like it so far. It will be some time before I am able to update since I have another story going, Fifty Shades of Parenting More. I hope to have another chapter for that story soon, and then I will circle back to this one. This one might be easier to update since the chapters are shorter. Please let me know what you think. Thanks and Happy Reading!**_


	4. Chapter 4

Ana's POV

I let out a big sigh as I weigh my options. My doctor said no stress, and then the hospital sends this middle aged woman into my hospital room to discuss payment options for my medical bills. I had just started my new job at SIP three days before the accident, and my medical insurance hasn't kicked in yet. I have to work there for three months before my benefits kick in. That is if I still have a job. I'm not sure when I'll be cleared to go back to work. The hospital did call Mr Hyde to let him know about the accident, but I haven't heard anything else about that.

I've been in the hospital for ten days now and I am reaching my breaking point. I almost wish I didn't survive the accident, only to be stuck in this hospital bed dependent on others to do everything for me. I can't use the toilet on my own and I can't take a shower. I can't even get out of bed on my own. The nurse comes in three to four times a day and gets me to walk. The doctor said I need to be up and out of bed so that I can get the circulation going in my body and avoid bed sores. Despite getting up every four hours, I still have sores on my back and my behind. The nurse has me walk down the hall and back a few times with my walker. My body aches every time I do it, so I have to go very slowly. Christian has accompanied me on most of my walks, much to the dismay of the nurses.

Speaking of Christian, he did offer to take me out of here and whisk me off to Escala for my recovery. He can be very persuasive, but I turned him down. It wouldn't be right. Although, sitting in this hospital bed day after day I often times regret saying no. I'd rather be with Christian at Escala. In his bed, in his great room, sitting with him at his breakfast bar, sitting with him at his piano, in his tub…. _What about his playroom? Oh yeah, that's where he beat you with his belt, remember?_ My subconscious rears her ugly head and ruins my pleasant thoughts of Christian and his castle in the sky. I role my eyes at her knowing a certain twitchy palmed billionaire is nowhere in sight. He slept here last night but had to leave for an early meeting.

"Miss Steele?" the billing specialist grabs my attention. She has been sitting here discussing my medical bills and trying to lay out a payment plan that would fit my budget. The truth is, I'm not sure any payment plan would fit my budget. I had just graduated college and the obligation to pay back my student loans had just begun. And added to that now will be my medical bills. I don't even know if I still have a job. The thought depresses me. And once again I slip back into my depressive state.

"Can I get back to you?" I ask her sheepishly? I can tell she's not happy. She frowns and then fixes her eyes on her clip board again. A knock at the door grabs both our attention. Without an invitation, in walks Christian with a bag that I can only assume contains lunch. He sees the billing specialist and immediately starts asking questions. The middle aged woman with glasses that are too big for her face looks at me rather than answer Christian's questions.

"Christian, its okay. She was just leaving" I say, and I know I sound exasperated. She stands from her chair with clipboard in hand and starts to leave the room, but not before Christian quietly chastises her at the door. I see them both nod, but I have no idea what they are saying or what they have just agreed to. After she leaves, Christian walks closer to me and starts to set up the food, and an unsettling thought comes to mind. "What did you say to her?"

He doesn't make eye contact with me, but he offers an answer as he continues to set the food up for us. "I told her not to come in here again and cause you stress. It's not good for your recovery."

"Is that all?" I ask. He still doesn't look at me. It is evident that he is hiding something. "Christian, tell me."

"Anastasia, what do you want to know?"

He pulls the bed table over so that it is in front of me and sits in the chair next to my bed. "Do you know why she was here?"

"The _why_ isn't important. Eat!" he commands. It's a distraction. He's done that several times since I've known him, to get out of answering my questions. I'm getting sick and tired of it.

"It's important to me. I don't like it when you keep things from me."

"Miss Steele, you are making a big deal out of nothing. Now please eat your lunch. Or would you prefer I feed it to you?"

I see a glint of amusement in his eyes. I know he would like to feed me, but I prefer he'd not. I pick up my spoon and taste the delicious minestrone soup that Gail had prepared. It is still so hot and feels good in my mouth and throat. I let out a soft moan as I enjoy the party of spices in my mouth. Christian takes his spoon and digs into his. "This is good" I finally say while I still have some in my mouth.

"I know" he says, and I can see a hint of a smile. He loves to eat, and even more so, he loves to see me eat.

"I'm glad you're eating, Anastasia" he says as he finishes his soup. I'm nearly finished my portion. "It was evident that you weren't doing much of that before you came here." And here we go. I can hear it in his voice. He is reprimanding me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I don't look at him. I continue to concentrate on my soup as I feign innocence.

"You've gotten too thin, Anastasia. Don't think I didn't notice that when I first came to see you the day of your accident."

"Typical. I was practically broken and covered in bruises, and you chose to focus on my weight."

"Why is that typical?" he asks me, but his tone is softer, sad even.

I look at him this time. "Seeing me in pain doesn't bother you. In fact that's how you get your kicks."

He's angry now. I know I hit a nerve when I see his facial expression darken. He roughly sets his soup bowl on my bed table. "That is not true, Anastasia. In fact, seeing you in pain like that abhors me. I don't get turned on from that kind of pain. I've explained that to you." He gets up and starts to pace, running both hands through his hair. "You are so frustrating sometimes" he continues. "The moment I walked in and saw you like that….. all I wanted to do was care for you, somehow take the pain away. My money can do a lot of things but I knew it wasn't going to fix this. You know I hate not having control."

I don't know what it is. The accident, the broken hip, the student loans and medical bills, not knowing where I stand with my job, his yelling at me, caring for me, _loving_ me? No, not love, he doesn't do love. I don't know what it is but I lose the fight with my emotions and the tears start pouring out of my eyes. Before I know it I am sobbing and he is by my side, gently lifting me and sliding me over so that he can sit on the bed next to me. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my hair. "I'm sorry, baby" he says to me softly, which prompts more sobs and tears. I feel like I've held this in for so long, built a wall with all of my problems and feelings, but now the walls are tumbling down. And he is here, comforting me. But why? He said he doesn't do love, so what is this?


	5. Chapter 5

Ana's POV

I am so tired, spent. My emotional breakdown has taken a toll on my body and my spirit. I am vaguely aware that I am in a hospital bed, wrapped in strong familiar arms. I feel comforted, safe. This is where I want to be. I never want him to let go. I start to feel light kisses in my hair. It makes me feel loved. But Christian doesn't do love. I am so confused. We lie like this for a long time, and a disturbing thought comes unbidden in my head. The last time he held me was after he punished me with the belt. That feels like so long ago, but the memory is still prominent in my brain. I am reminded that I am not what he needs. I try to move so that he releases his hold on me, but it has the opposite effect.

"Don't" he says gently. "If you want to sleep you can. I'll hold you."

"Christian" I moan, but I really don't mean to. "I don't want to sleep."

He kisses my hair again and releases his arms slightly. He's still holding me and my head is rested in the crook of his neck. "Okay. Talk to me then."

"Talk about what?"

"Don't be obtuse" he gently scolds. "Why were you crying?"

"I'm sorry"

I feel him move his head toward me, even though he can't see my face. "What are you sorry for?"

"For my breakdown."

"Don't be sorry for crying. You needed that. There's a lot going on here, Anastasia. And I need you to talk to me about it."

I want to cry again. He is being so sweet, but I suppress it. I feel his hand rub up and down my arm as he waits for me. My thoughts start to run a mile a minute. Where do I even begin? My injury? My uncertainty about my employment? My thoughts of wanting to die? My heartache and confusion about us? My medical bills? No, I can't tell him about that. He'll want to fix that and I don't want him to. But what if he already has? I need to find out.

"What did you say to that lady?"

"What lady?" Before I realize what I'm doing I roll my eyes, and then I bite my lip. I don't think he saw that. "Anastasia, I know I can't do anything about it right now, but I will start a running tab if I have to." _Yeah, he saw that_.

"What do you mean?" I feign innocence.

"You know what I mean. Don't roll your eyes. You know how I feel about that. And you're biting your lip." I release my lip from my teeth and feel a clench in my belly. I will it to stop. I can't do anything about it right now.

"Sorry, Sir" I say sweetly.

"That's better."

"Please tell me what you said to that billing specialist."

I feel his head move again. "If I tell you, will you talk to me about what you are feeling?" I feel his hand stroke my hair. It feels good. How can I not do what he asks?

"Yes"

He continues to stroke my hair. "Good"

"The billing specialist?" I press him.

"I told her not to come in here again and bother you with your medical expenses." He kisses my hair again, and I start to fume. He's still holding back, and I intend to get the truth out of him.

"Please tell me you didn't make any deals with her."

"What sort of deals are you referring to?"

Oh, now he's feigning innocence. _Serves you right_ my subconscious smirks at me. I internally glare at her. "Monetary deals."

"If we are going for honesty, which I hope we are, I can't tell you that."

He is still stroking my hair. "Christian, I don't want you to pay my medical expenses" I snap at him, but I am still in his arms and he is still stroking my hair as if my outburst never happened.

"I know, baby" he says softly. "As much as you don't want that, I don't want you to have that kind of burden when you've just entered the work force."

I wipe a single tear away that has dripped down my cheek. "I don't even know if I have a job anymore."

"You still have a job" he says. And something in his voice tells me that it's not just an assumption.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know how businesses operate. Your boss cannot fire you for being out on leave."

"But after a certain amount of time…"

"Shhh, no" he lightly scolds. "I don't want you to worry about that. You will still have a job once you've fully recovered." And something in his tone tells me that that's the end of it. "How do you feel right now?" he asks me out of the blue.

I think about his question, and I think about what he said a few minutes ago. Honesty. I think I can do that. "Safe"

"Good" He is stroking my hair again. "Because I want you to keep talking. I know you had more weighing on you besides your job and expenses."

_Honesty_ my subconscious chants when I start to chicken out. I mentally take a breath. I can do this. "I feel confused."

"Confused?"

"About us" I elaborate. "We broke up, but yet here you are taking care of me. And I want that, but I don't understand why you do."

His hand stills in my hair for a moment, but then he begins stroking it again. "After you left me, I had some time to think about things. I thought about the short time we had together. All of the firsts, all of the things you've done that shocked me. And all I could think about was how much I wanted that back. I felt so empty without you, so lost, and it was so alien to me. I've never let anyone in like I've let you in. And I know I've held so much back, but it was still more than I've ever allowed. Losing you, I never wanted to feel emotional pain like that. I know you deserve a lot better than me. You deserve someone that will cherish you, make love to you, give you hearts and flowers without reservations. But I'm a selfish man. I need to have you, even if it's in a different capacity."

Oh my. He's never been this open with anyone in his life. Only Dr Flynn. There's a lot he hasn't done before me. He's never slept with anyone, only me. He's never introduced a girl to his family, only me. He's never flown a girl in Charlie Tango, only me. These thoughts overwhelm me, and at the same time they give me butterflies.

"Say something" he says softly.

"I wasn't doing so well without you either, Christian. Being with you… it was new, overwhelming and emotional and confusing, but it was also very thrilling and exciting. I never knew what you were going to do or say next. I've never felt so alive."

"But"

"But, I wasn't what you needed."

"Yes, you were. You _are_ what I need."

I try to pull away from him but he doesn't release me. My emotions start to build again at the thought that I can't be what he needs, especially now. "Christian, look at me. I'm stuck in this hospital bed with a broken hip. I'm no good to anyone right now."

I can tell he wants to say something, but we are interrupted by the nurse that has just walked in. Jeez, they don't even knock. They just come and go as they please. She is here to help me use the toilet and walk around with my walker for a bit, which abruptly puts an end to our conversation.

"This conversation isn't over. We're going to talk more about this later" he says in my ear before he plants a kiss there. It's a warning and a promise. He carefully releases me and helps me shift my body to the edge of the bed where the nurse has my walker set up and waiting for me. I feel so weak as I try to maneuver myself to stand with my walker. Maybe I should have opted for sleep in his arms over of our major dose of honesty.


	6. Chapter 6

Christian's POV

The nurses in this hospital have the worst timing. Ana and I were finally communicating. She was opening up, and surprisingly I was too. But our conversation was abruptly put on hold. I waited for Ana and the nurse to finish in the toilet and I walked with her until she was too tired to continue. The nurse insisted she walk longer this time since she needed to push more with each walk. It was difficult to see Ana struggle but I agreed with the nurse. If Ana wants to recover and be back on her feet she needs to be pushed.

Once we are back in her hospital room, I help her into bed. I help her get comfortable and cover her up. Her eyes are closed and she is asleep instantly. I nuzzle my nose in her hair and plant a few kisses. "Ana?" I whisper softly, only to receive a light moan in return. "Sleep well, Baby. I'll be back soon."

I don't want to leave Ana, but I have a feeling she'll sleep for at least a few hours. Her meds and her therapy make her tired. This whole thing has made her more emotional, which is why I have asked Flynn to meet with me for a session. Rather than have me leave the hospital, he's agreed to meet me here. He has privileges at this hospital so he's able to easily procure a conference room at any time.

I walk in and see that he is already here and seated comfortably. I'm relieved, although not surprised. He flashes the same friendly and understanding smile he wears anytime I walk into his office. "Christian. Good to see you. Have a seat." I slowly and quietly take a seat across the table from him and fold my hands in front of me. "How is Miss Steele doing?"

"She's um…." I rub my hand over my eyes and start to feel a bit tired myself. "She's recovering. She's started walking a little bit each day."

"That's good"

I nod in agreement. "Yes, it is good. She's been eating well. Gail's been making meals that she likes."

"So what's the problem, Christian?"

"She's very emotional. Her moods have been up and down. One minute she's fine, the next minute she's irritated or sad or hostile….. I try to be patient with her, but…. you know I am not a patient man."

Flynn leans forward in his chair so that his elbows are rested on the table. "You need to understand what this injury can do to a person" he begins. "Patients with a broken hip tend to feel broken down. They are stuck in a hospital bed and dependent on other people. It is difficult for some patients to see past that, see that they can and will walk again and live a normal life."

"You think she's depressed?" I ask him. The thought never crossed my mind.

"It's possible. When you have an injury like Ana's, you have all the time in the world to sit and think about what you can't do. When can I go to the bathroom on my own again? When can I take a shower? When can I go back to work? When will I walk again? For most women they worry about gaining weight because they can't exercise."

I run my hands through my hair. "When can she have sex again" I ask under my breath, but I know he heard me.

"That too. Do you think she worries about losing you?"

I think about that question for a moment. I lost her, not the other way around. Yet, she feels she is not what I need. "Earlier today she said that she's not what I need. But she couldn't be more wrong."

"Did you tell her that?"

I look up at John and suddenly feel defensive. "Yes. Yes, I told her she _is_ what I need."

"Christian, the way I see it you need to make a decision and commit to it. If you want Ana in your life, you need to keep assuring her of it. She needs that assurance now more than ever, but only if you are serious about having her in your life."

"I am serious about having her in my life."

"This can't have anything to do with her injury. She needs to know that you are there for her because you want to be, and not because she is injured."

"I don't pity her."

"That's good" he says with a slight smile. "What do you feel for her then?"

"John….." I complain and shake my head.

"You want her in your life. You want to take care of her. You want her to communicate with you. You must have some feelings for this woman." Oh he's enjoying this. My mouth forms into a hard line but he is unaffected. "You've always insisted that you don't give or receive love."

"Love is for fools, John."

"Is that right? Then I guess you are a fool just like the rest of us."

He's smiling. Fucking Flynn! I slouch back in my chair and let out a long sigh. "Before she left me, she told me she was in love with me."

"How did that make you feel?"

How did that make me feel? Christ, he would have to ask me that. How did it feel? "It felt…. nice. But it felt wrong. I felt like I was leading her down this dark path and I wanted it to stop. I didn't want to destroy her, John. But I wound up hurting her anyway."

"What did you say to her, when she said she was in love with you?"

"I told her it was wrong, that she shouldn't feel that way."

"Do you still feel that way?"

I run my hand through my hair as I think about it. I am fifty shades of fucked up. I don't know how to love, and I don't deserve love. I've worked very hard to keep myself isolated from such messy feelings. But Anastasia….. my Ana. I lean forward and run both hands through my hair.

"I've heard the words before. From Isabella, and Leila. I cared for their well-being but that's where it ended. I didn't want their love. And I certainly didn't have any love to give to them."

"And Ana?"

"Ana" I shake my head. "She deserves so much better. Someone that can give her hearts and flowers and a proper vanilla relationship. Not some sadist that wants to tie her up and fuck her until she screams." I stand up in haste and start to pace on my side of the conference room. "I've told her that once she leaves, that it's. It's over. But I can't stay away from her. I'm being selfish."

"Since being in the hospital, has she asked you to leave?"

I stand in one spot with my hands on my hips and think about all of the conversations we've had since Ana's accident. Her moods have been up and down, but those words never left her beautiful mouth. "No, she hasn't."

"You're not being selfish."

"I am if I stay."

"This is where you need to stop listening to the voices in your head that tell you you don't deserve love. Look at what you are doing for this woman, and more importantly, what she's doing for you."

"What do you mean?" I ask, still stood with my hands on my hips. I am so confused.

"No other woman has made you this exasperated. No other woman has made you stop and question your beliefs or your feelings."

"She is a challenge" I agree with him.

"A challenge you've yet to run away from, despite the fact that she's told you she's in love with you."

I rub the short stubble on my chin. "I don't even know that she still feels that way."

"Ask her."

"What? No. I'm not going to ask her."

"Communication, Christian. You wanted that. She's in a hospital bed recovering from a serious accident. All you can do is talk."

I rub the stubble again and glare at him. "Is that a stab at my ever growing and insatiable sexual needs?"

"Sex is out of the question for a while given Ana's injury. You already knew that, yet here you are. You're still here." I sigh hard again. "Talk to her. It will be hard, but do it anyway."

I don't know why I pay this guy a huge retainer just to throw my shit back in my face. I glare at him once more before I leave the conference room. I don't want to leave Ana alone for too long. I worry that she'll wake up scared and confused. When I arrive at her hospital room I slow my pace and enter quietly, being careful not to wake her. She's still asleep, but I notice very quickly that she's talking in her sleep.

"Christian" she softly mumbles. "Don't leave…. please. Please don't leave me." I carefully take her hand and gently rub my thumb across her knuckles, but it does nothing to soothe her. She starts to grow agitated in her sleep. This isn't good for her injury. I rush around to the other side of the bed and gently lift and slide her over. I then climb onto the bed and gently wrap my arms around her from behind to comfort her.

"Hush Baby" I whisper in her ear before planting gentle kisses. "I'm here. I'm right here." Her body starts to calm as I hold her and assure her of my presence. The tiredness I felt earlier returns with a vengeance. I can no longer fight it, and before I know it I fall asleep with her in my arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Wow, it's been a whole month since my last update. I am so sorry for not posting for this story more often. I've been spending more time on my other story. I promise to keep going with both stories. Thanks for reading.

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Ana's POV

I wake up feeling hot. I groan at the discomfort until I discover the source. Christian is asleep behind me with his arm wrapped around me and his leg thrown over both of mine. I don't want to move because I know it will wake him, but my bladder has other ideas. I have to pee so badly right now. I keep my body still as I reach my arm out and press the call button on the side of my bed. I despise having to wait for a nurse to come and collect me and help me to the toilet, but I don't have much choice. I still cannot get out of bed on my own. I wait, and wait, and wait but nobody comes to my rescue. I press the call button a few more times. Maybe it's broken, or maybe they are avoiding my hospital room since they know a certain megalomaniac CEO is present. I've been trying to lie still, but my body betrays me and I start to squirm in discomfort. Christian wakes up and immediately starts to plant kisses in my hair.

"Hello, Beautiful" he says softly. Unfortunately I am in no position to enjoy the lovely display of affection. I feel like my bladder will burst at any moment.

"Christian" I groan and try to pull away from him. He pulls his arm and leg back so that he is no longer trapping me, and I start to feel cold with the lost contact.

"Baby, what is it?" I start to whimper a little but I really don't mean to. God, I really have to pee. I press the call button again and do my best to hold it in. "Ana?" he tries again.

"I'm sorry" I cry. "Could you find the nurse, please?"

He quickly climbs off of the bed and runs around it to be in front of me. "What is it? Are you in pain?"

I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut. "Christian, please" I try again.

"Baby, what's wrong. Tell me now." He starts to stroke my hair and my face. He's really concerned. I didn't mean to worry him so.

"Christian, I'm not in pain" I manage to say. "Could you please get the nurse?"

"Tell me what you need. I'll get it for you." I open my eyes and chance a peek at him. I see so much concern in his eyes. Concern for me. It's very daunting. "Ana?"

"I need to pee" I manage to say. His expression softens and he lets out a chuckle. Is this funny to him? Next thing I know I am lifted into his arms. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm helping you to the toilet."

"Christian, no" I try to protest, but my words fall on deaf ears. "Please Christian, put me down."

"Anastasia, you are clearly in no position to wait another minute for a nurse to be available to help you." He carries me into the ensuite bathroom and stops with me in his arms. "It's either me or the nurses will be cleaning up urine stained sheets. Take your pick."

I stare into his eyes. For a moment I am angry to be put in this predicament, but I'm not angry with him. I don't want Christian to help me with something so….. intimate. But he makes a good point. I don't think I can wait.

"Okay"

"Good choice, Miss Steele." He gently puts me down. I'm hoping he gives me privacy to do my business, but he doesn't. He starts to lift my nightgown.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm helping you. Sit. Carefully."

"Christian, you don't have to…."

"Will you please just do what you're told?" he cuts me off as he keeps a fistful of my nightgown in his hand.

"I've got this" I insist. I start to feel ridiculous arguing with him as he stands in front of me holding my nightgown, almost exposing my most private areas.

"Anastasia, I don't want you to hurt yourself. You've made great progress but you are not ready to do things on your own just yet. Please, let me help you."

I look into his eyes again and I can see concern, sincerity…. love? No, get off of that Ana. He doesn't do love. The thought of it makes me sad and I look away from him. I feel his hand gently stroke my chin before he tilts my head up to look at him. Looking into his scorching beautiful eyes does things to me and it is making it harder for me to hold it. I start to squirm and can no longer fight him off. Without another word, he lifts my nightgown higher and helps me lower myself so that I am seated on the toilet. Before I can ask him to leave again, I hear and feel the effects of my body relieving itself. This is so embarrassing. I chance a peek at him and can't help but snort. We both start to laugh, and suddenly I don't feel as embarrassed. I've let this man take my virginity, go down on me, spank me and work me over with a riding crop. Despite any reluctance, discomfort or confusion that I had, he made all of those experiences okay for me, and he is doing that now.

"Feel better?" he asks as the trickling sounds of my urine start to fade.

"Much. Thank you."

"We aim to please" he says as he reaches for the toilet tissue and takes some into his hand. I'm not sure if he's planning to wipe me or if he's going to offer it to me to do it myself, but I don't wait to find out. I reach out and grab the toilet tissue from his hand.

"Can you not watch?" I plead. He nods and stands, turning his back to me as he does it. I'm relieved as I hold my nightgown in one hand and clean myself with the other. I am able to flush the toilet and wash my hands while remaining seated on the toilet. When I am finished, he takes me into his arms again and carries me back to the bed.

"I like having you in my arms" he says to me in his husky voice. It sends a chill through my body. I want this man so much, but I won't be able to have him, not for a few months. I don't even know if I'll ever have him again. We broke up, but he's here. The question I keep asking myself is, why is he here? He must know that I can't have sex with him. Am I to believe that a man with his sexual appetite would be willing to wait until I am recovered?

He gently places me on the bed and pulls the duvet over my lap. "Christian?" I say without a hint of what I want to say to him. I know I need to say something.

"Yes Anastasia?" He goes about fixing my pillows and my duvet so that I am comfortable. Before I can say anything the nurse comes in and walks over to my bed.

"Miss Steele, you rang?"

Before I can answer, Christian gives her a piece of his mind.

"Miss Steele rang you about a half hour ago. She needed to use the toilet. Don't worry, I took care of it. But if I wasn't here, you would be cleaning up urine soiled sheets right now, or answering to a lawsuit had Miss Steele tried to get out of bed and injured herself in the process."

"Mr Grey…."

"Christian" the nurse and I try to address him at the same time. I am not happy that the nurses didn't respond to my call, but I don't want Christian to fight this battle for me.

"What was so important that you couldn't tend to Miss Steele's needs?" he continues. I start to feel bad for the nurse. She's young, can't be much older than me. I have to hand it to her though, she's still in the room facing Christian's wrath.

"With all due respect, Sir, Miss Steele is not the only patient on this floor. There is a child down the hall suffering third degree burns that also needed tending to."

I watch Christian and notice a quick change in him. Hearing that a child is just down the hall and suffering has paralyzed him in his spot. He has no words. I decide to speak for him. "Will he be alright?"

"He has a long road ahead of him, but with the proper care and support…" she pauses. This is hard for her too. "He's alive, but life's not going to be easy for him."

"That poor child" I say. I just want to cry right now.

"I'm sorry" Christian says softly. That is so uncharacteristic of him. I look up at him but I can't see his face. "Please, take good care of him."

"We will. Is there anything I can do for you?" The question is meant for me but I'm spaced out. "Miss Steele?" she tries again, and this time she gets my attention.

"No, thank you." She nods and leaves. Christian keeps his spot in the middle of my hospital room and he's still facing the door.

"Christian?" I try to get his attention. He turns around and looks at me but he doesn't say anything. "Are you okay?"

He nods and walks closer to me. "I need to go sort out our dinner. Will you be alright for a few minutes?"

He's leaving? Why can't he just call Taylor from here like he usually does? "Where are you going?"

"I just need to take a walk and I'll call Taylor while I'm at it. Any special requests?"

I know he is doing this to distract me. I also know better than to press him when he doesn't want to tell me something. I smile and decide to humor him. "Spaghetti Bolognese."

I am awarded with his smile, but it's a sad smile. He kisses my forehead before he leaves the room. I lean back against my pillows and wonder if he will ever kiss my lips again.


	8. Chapter 8

Christian's POV

I walk out of Ana's hospital room and run my hand through my hair. I can't let her see me like this. I'm so fucking angry right now. Hearing that a kid is suffering from third degree burns….. Fuck! I don't even know the kid. But it still gets me angry. I see my mother and I immediately approach her.

"Christian…."

"Hello, Mother." I try to compose myself as I lean in and kiss her on the cheek.

"How's Ana."

"She's fine" I say too quickly. "Mom, there's a kid on this floor suffering from third degree burns."

"How do you know that?" she asks suspiciously.

"Ana's nurse mentioned it, but that's not the point. I need to know how it happened."

She steps back and holds her clipboard to her chest. "You know I can't share any information with you about other patients."

"I'm not asking you about his condition. I need to know what happened. Please, you know I can find out. It will be a lot easier if you just tell me."

She sighs and starts walking, prompting me to walk alongside her. "His mother left him in the care of her boyfriend while she worked. He didn't have a lot of experience with kids, but she didn't have anyone else to watch him." She turns to look at me, gauging my reaction. "She isn't a bad person, Christian. She had no idea her boyfriend was capable of this."

"He burned him" I say softly. This is hitting a little too close to home for me, and she knows it. I run my hand through my hair again.

"She hasn't left his side. Only to get something to eat, which is not very frequent."

I don't know what makes me look up, but when I do I see a familiar face leave one of the hospital rooms. We make eye contact and I can't help but gasp.

"Christian, leave her be" my mother says. But I don't hear her. I have already started walking in the direction where my focus lies. I slow my pace when I get closer to her.

"Mr Grey" she says softly. I can tell she hasn't been sleeping or eating properly. It is also clear that she's been crying.

"Josephine" I address her.

"Please, it's just Josie now." She doesn't say anything else when she notices that my mother has joined us.

"Everything okay over here?"

"Yes, Dr Trevelyan-Grey. Thank you for looking in on my son."

My eyes widen at the revelation. The boy that was burned is her son.

"I'll check on him again in a little bit. You should get some dinner while he's sleeping. I can have one of the nurses sit with him until you return."

"That's very kind, thank you."

I know that my mother would like me to leave her alone. She makes several faces and gestures. "Josie, have you met my son?" she asks in order to break the silence between the three of us.

"We have met, actually" I chime in to save her. "I was just going to wish her well."

My mother gives me a look as to say that she's on to me, but I don't care. I need some time alone with Josephine to find out what is going on. I get my wish when my mother walks away. "You need to eat. Come, I'll walk with you to the cafeteria."

"I'm not your sub, Mr Grey."

"That, you are not" I agree with her. "But I would still like to accompany you."

She gives in and allows me to walk with her. I hold off on conversation until we are in the elevator. "So, your son. How hold is he?"

"You're worried he's yours?"

"I'd be lying if I say the thought hadn't crossed my mind."

All too quickly we reach the bottom floor and start our long journey to the cafeteria. "He was a surprise, but a very good one. He's everything to me."

"And his father?" I push further. I need to hear her say the words before I combust.

She stops and looks up at me. "You're not his father, Mr Grey. I got pregnant long after we ended our contract." I can't help the sigh of relief that leaves my body. But I am relieved. I've never wished to have kids. "You can go now."

She starts to walk away from me, but I follow. "Josephine."

She turns to face me again and she is annoyed. "It's Josie. I'm not part of that lifestyle anymore, and I'd prefer you didn't use my full name."

"I'm sorry….. Josie" I say to her. Why is that so hard for me?

"Thank you."

I walk with her to the cafeteria in silence. Once she has her food we find a table and I sit with her while she eats. I have a coffee since I will be having dinner with Ana. Speaking of Ana, I stop and send a quick text to Taylor to let him know what Ana would like for Gail to prepare for dinner.

"I left the lifestyle when I met Jackson's father" she tells me. I sit and listen. "We were together for a year before we found out I was pregnant."

She stops talking and that makes me think the worst. "He left you?"

She chews what is in her mouth and shakes her head. "No. No, he stuck around. He was happy about it. He was a great father. We were going to get married. But….. he died shortly after Jackson's second birthday."

"I'm sorry" I say softly. I really don't have anything against this woman. Out of all of the subs I had, she was the kindest and the most considerate of others. Just like Ana, she didn't care for my money. But unlike Ana, she was never in love with me. She was in it because she enjoyed the lifestyle. Our contract ended when we discovered that we both had gotten what we wanted out of each other and needed a change. My apology takes her by surprise. I notice that I'm starting to say those words more often now. Must be the Anastasia effect.

"Thank you. It was hard losing Jeffery, but I needed to be there for my son. I took on any job that would hire me. My mother helps watch Jackson when I work. But the other day she couldn't."

"So, your boyfriend…."

She starts to tear up and stops eating her food. "I never thought he could do such a thing. Had I known that, I would have never left him alone with my son."

My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket to read the text message from Taylor.

"I'm keeping you from something. It's okay if you need to go." She works to compose herself and starts to eat her dinner again.

"I can wait a few minutes."

"You haven't told me why you're here. Were you just visiting your mother?"

I think about her question. I have only really admitted to my family that Ana is my girlfriend. Right now I'm not really sure what we are since we haven't broached the subject. I'm waiting for Ana to recover some more before we get into it. Still, I do think of her as my girlfriend. She looks up at me when I don't answer. Oh well, here it goes.

"I'm visiting my girlfriend."

The look on her face is just amusing to me. Yes. I, Christian Grey, have a girlfriend.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just had no idea…. is it that girl you were photographed with at the WSU graduation?"

"You saw?"

"I did. I remember thinking that she's beautiful, and that you've never been photographed with a woman before. That caught me by surprise. I hope she's alright."

"Thank you. She will be. I'm going to need to get back to her. Will you be alright?"

For the first time since being in my presence she smiles. "Yes. Thank you." I start to stand and grab my coffee cup. "Mr Grey, I'm glad for you. Take good care of her."

"That I will. And….. it's like you said you're not my sub. You can call me Christian. Take good care of your son."

I leave her to eat while I make my way back to Ana. My mind is reeling, and I'm hoping the walk back to her hospital room helps me clear my head. First I hear that there is a kid suffering from third degree burns. And then I find out that his mother was one of my subs. Naturally I wanted to blame the mother after hearing that the kid was burned. I certainly blame my mother for what happened to me. She didn't protect me. But Josephine isn't like that. She may look like my mother but she is nothing like her. She isn't a crack whore. She was very much into the BDSM lifestyle when she was my sub, but aside from that she was this gentle, kind and nurturing woman. From what I can gather from today she still is.

When I approach Ana's room, she is in the doorway with her walker. The nurse is right behind her.

"Hey Baby" I say to her and kiss her cheek. "Time to walk?"

"Yeah, are you coming?"

"Of course. Nurse." I address the angry nurse following Ana out of the room. I know this nurse doesn't like me, but I don't give a fuck. Ana giggles at our exchange as we start our slow journey down the hall.

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_**Don't worry, this is not a cheating story. Christian's ex-subs added interesting layers to the trilogy, so I thought Josie could add a good layer to this one. Thanks for reading!**_


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